The warrior has fought valiantly throughout the campaign, making progress towards his people's effort. Through extreme exertion, and costly, hard-won battles has he and his comrades tasted victory bittersweet. Having endured crushing defeats, seeing his brothers fall beside him and knowing that their sacrifice only bought the others time to fall back, and the objective was lost.
Time and time again has he fought and bled through this Hell, whilst enemies and allies sate the thirst of the sands underfoot. In the fray he now surveys the battlefield - taking in the sight of the brothers having been devoured by the mouth of the sword; the once magnificent buildings and commoners homes that now lie in ruin; the screams of death and cries of battle that fill the air.
Insurmountable devastation has cast its shadow upon this land. Utterly exhausted, the weary warrior collapses to his knees. Will he get up?
Time and time again has he fought and bled through this Hell, whilst enemies and allies sate the thirst of the sands underfoot. In the fray he now surveys the battlefield - taking in the sight of the brothers having been devoured by the mouth of the sword; the once magnificent buildings and commoners homes that now lie in ruin; the screams of death and cries of battle that fill the air.
Insurmountable devastation has cast its shadow upon this land. Utterly exhausted, the weary warrior collapses to his knees. Will he get up?
He casts his gaze upon the blood-stained land; where once stood brave men and siege equipment, now rests familiar standards flying above funeral pyres. The only monuments left behind are to sorrow and pain as the land becomes a barrow. His vision, impaired by the falling of ash and the smoke-heat's stinging claws, is enveloped by darkness. The only thing his senses perceive is the steel's song of battle echoing coldly throughout the land and the rumbling of fire - and soon, this also gives way to the heartbeat pounding within his ears, like a drum playing the dirge of bloodsong.
While the chaos of war rages on around him, a battle is being fought inside. His body in pangs, his soul in torment ; his mind fights desperately against these. The body denies his commands to animate; the soul, writhing in torment, begins to extinguish - his willpower to keep it aflame is slipping. The sorrow of losing his brothers and comrades - men who have seen many seasons, and those still in the springtime of their youth ; the weight of those he has slain, begins to take a heavy toll.
Almost having been conquered by self-defeat, as if sent from Providence, the words of great men who lived long ago now cry out in his mind:
"Does Panthea or Pergamus now sit by the tomb of Verus? Does Chaurias or Diotimus sit by the tomb of Hadrian? That would be ridiculous. Well, suppose they did sit there, would the dead be conscious of it? And if conscious, would they be pleased?..." [1]
Lightning flashes within his mind, as his blank eyes begin to fill with heroic purpose. He utters a single word from his lips - "No."
He remembers the fallen, and resolves to not let their sacrifice be in vain. He realizes the heavy price they paid - that of their own lives and the suffering of their families - in order to give him and their still living brothers the chance to succeed. They would not be pleased with his inaction. He recalls the teaching of the Stoics, that death is order of all things and that all men must perish...
Almost having been conquered by self-defeat, as if sent from Providence, the words of great men who lived long ago now cry out in his mind:
"Does Panthea or Pergamus now sit by the tomb of Verus? Does Chaurias or Diotimus sit by the tomb of Hadrian? That would be ridiculous. Well, suppose they did sit there, would the dead be conscious of it? And if conscious, would they be pleased?..." [1]
Lightning flashes within his mind, as his blank eyes begin to fill with heroic purpose. He utters a single word from his lips - "No."
He remembers the fallen, and resolves to not let their sacrifice be in vain. He realizes the heavy price they paid - that of their own lives and the suffering of their families - in order to give him and their still living brothers the chance to succeed. They would not be pleased with his inaction. He recalls the teaching of the Stoics, that death is order of all things and that all men must perish...
"Colossal keeps consumed and left as burial mounds
And even stars will fade into empyrean shrouds"[2]
And even stars will fade into empyrean shrouds"[2]
...but that it is best for a man to retire from this life rightly fulfilling his duty, "a fighter in the noblest fight [...] steeped in justice, accepting with all his soul everything that happens and is assigned to him as his portion." [3]
"Ah God! What an honourable and weighty burden to bear! And he who bears such a burden should fear lest he let it fall, for with great effort and endurance, in fearful danger and with great diligence, for a long time, stretching over a number of years, he has devoted himself to bearing this responsibility on his shoulders, and in one brief moment he may fall and lose everything, if God does not grant him the wisdom and good judgement to know how to keep it safe." [4]
He thinks of the heavy losses that will come if he doesn't act. If he were to have quit himself, he would have abandoned his comrades who still fight on. His presence is needed to bolster morale of the battalion, and the knights, whether of equal, inferior or superior rank, are relying heavily upon his much needed prowess to help turn the tide. He recalls the words of Paulos:
"And let us not weary in doing good: for in our due season we harvest - if we weaken not.
So as we have season, work good to all, especially to the household of the faith." [5]
He will now rise to the challenge, to share in the victory these warriors fight for so valiantly, or to share the burden of defeat if it so shall come ; to fight against an enemy who seems never-ending ; and continue the fight in hope of securing a brighter future for those whom he's protecting. The desire and the courage to reclaim what has been lost in the past, to safeguard that which they have at the present, and to shape a better future for his family and nation is what motivates him now.
"For, whoever might want to consider the hardships, pains, discomforts, fears, perils, broken bones, and wounds which the good knights who uphold the order of knighthood as they should endure and have to suffer frequently, there is no religious order in which as much is suffered as to be endured by these good knights who go in search of deeds of arms in the right way as has been set forth [...] No one can and should excuse himself from bearing arms in just cause, whether for his lord or for his lineage or for himself or for the Holy Church or to defend their own rights." [6]
With Heaven's sacred blessing - having been called to be the battleaxe of his Lord - and calling upon the strength of his ancestors, he has been reborn. Full of righteous fury and divine retribution, he charges once again into the heat of battle.
"Empires built upon the bones of those who stood beside us
The sun has set eternally into the dark
And we have seen the fields of war steal the lives of sons and brothers
The iron heart of glory beats a hollow dirge
The gods of battle rise and fall but the thirst for blood lives on
The Wolves of Winter rise and howl for honour’s debt
The sands forever greedily consume the blood of friends and fathers..." [7]
The sun has set eternally into the dark
And we have seen the fields of war steal the lives of sons and brothers
The iron heart of glory beats a hollow dirge
The gods of battle rise and fall but the thirst for blood lives on
The Wolves of Winter rise and howl for honour’s debt
The sands forever greedily consume the blood of friends and fathers..." [7]
And whilst death awaits every man, his people can live forever so long as there are brave and noble men willing to defend their nation. These heroic deeds will become his legacy, and future generations of warriors will recall his memory when they are called upon to defend it again.
Sources:
[1] Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, chapter VIII, entry 37.
[2] Excerpt from Wild Autumn Wind by Caladan Brood.
[3] Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, chapter III, excerpt from entry 4.
[4] Geoffroi De Charny, A Knights Own Book of Chivalry, on "Heavy Responsibility of Men of Rank and Prowess", lines 2-8.
[5] Galatians chapter 6, verses 9-10.
[6] Geoffroi De Charny, A Knights Own Book of Chivalry, "The Rigors of the Order of Knighthood", lines 10-18.
[7] Excerpt from The Echoes of Battle by Caladan Brood.
Sources:
[1] Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, chapter VIII, entry 37.
[2] Excerpt from Wild Autumn Wind by Caladan Brood.
[3] Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, chapter III, excerpt from entry 4.
[4] Geoffroi De Charny, A Knights Own Book of Chivalry, on "Heavy Responsibility of Men of Rank and Prowess", lines 2-8.
[5] Galatians chapter 6, verses 9-10.
[6] Geoffroi De Charny, A Knights Own Book of Chivalry, "The Rigors of the Order of Knighthood", lines 10-18.
[7] Excerpt from The Echoes of Battle by Caladan Brood.